My dad has this habit, everytime he is going through a difficult phase in his business, he will wake up in the middle of the night and be pacing up and down, and everytime anyone asked him why, he would reply "Tension". We are not allowed to talk to dad or say anything to upset him during those times.I only started understanding what tension is after I started working and juggling between dance classes and work and friends and etc etc.With my social life in the dumps and still scrambling for time everyday, I feel I am always running around from one thing to the next.
As I was hurrying around the house one morning, getting ready for work and trying to rush through my breakfast, mom came up to me and said "Slow down, why are you in such a hurry dear?"
"Mom!Please!!Tension!" I replied without even looking up,sounding every bit tensed because I had so much work to do in office and deadlines to meet and I hadnt left home yet.So it was quite an automatic reaction to how I was feeling.
My mom turned and half smiling,half joking said "Tensed?" she laughed "But what could you possibly be tensed about?Little girls dont get tensed."
My head went 'Little Girl?? from which angle??!!!Does she not realise that I am in a serious job in a serious company?'
But it doesnt matter to her where I work or what I do. Even when she calls me in office, her first question invariably is "Kanna (Dear in tamil),Have you had lunch?What did you eat?" And everytime I answer her, I feel so flustered that I actually glance around to make sure none of my colleagues heard it.
But to my mom, not answering that question means she will spend the whole day worrying about "oh my poor daughter hasnt eaten anything all day".
To her, my work , my dance and practically everything else I do in my life does not have so much meaning compared to whether I eat and what I eat and what time I will be back home and whom am I goin out with.Sometimes I wonder, if I will ever 'grow up' for her, or will I always remain her 'Little Girl'
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